Recall a time
when I laid heavy
you touched me and I rolled over
unwrap me

I am pale.
I am eager to please.
what I want

what I want
is to hear you coo content and pleased, unknowing.
I can mimic

better then anything else
it is theatrics
I can fake my way and grit my teeth

So what do you want?
Before Oh! The secret is out
I fade away

And you will whither to something sick.

I wonder what it's like to have a miscarriage. To have something living that you created and have it die inside of you. We all say that happens figuratively, but I wonder what it's really like.

All the Animals in my Play

I've decided to only give up cigarettes when I find my true love.

1. Because it makes me sound like an idealist
2. Never going to happen.

, originally uploaded by hello_echo.

Pictures of Egbert before I left, so many pictures this summer!

Good things come to those who wait.

So I've been waiting. And I've been gathering and accumulating. So that when whatever good does come I will be perfect and you will be floored. It's not that I want to impress you, it's more for my self. I am too ambitious for my own good, I've never met anyone else to match me. If I attempt something I have to be the best that I can possibly be. I am competitive, I seek perfection in myself and in others. It makes me judgemental, it makes me picky, it makes me wicked. Never settle. Never settle. Never settle. I throw all my artwork out because it's not good enough, ever.It's increased this year, being in a competitive environment, which is understandable i guess.I hate watching people be lazy, I hate watching people give excuses, don't think you can earn something without working for it. So I am alone because I cant accept people with their faults. I want to be matched and I want to be challenged. It's hard to find.

And I think it's alright to feel inhuman now.